This year, you have chosen the Throttle Rockets as your favorite Rat City Rollergirls team -- and if I may say, you've made a sound choice. As much as I fear and admire the Derby Liberation Front, Grave Danger and the Sockit Wenches, there's no denying that the team's got an energy about them this year -- a kind of force that surrounds them and binds the galaxy together.

I have to admit that I didn't always have these warm and fuzzy feelings for the Throttle Rockets. My girlfriend skated with Grave Danger in Rat City's first season, and though I never liked to see Danger lose, back then getting throttled by the Rockets seemed a particularly cruel blow. Rightly or wrongly, I thought they played too rough, and from a spectator's perspective it wasn't as much fun to see the Rockets' mighty jammer Darth Skater III bowling through the pack and racking up ridiculous numbers of points. I thought they were humorless, vindictive.

But time will show a fan the error of his ways, and I was one-hundred-percent wrong about the Throttle Rockets. What I'd read as arrogance is really the teams' all-or-nothing ethic; the Throttle Rockets skate every bout as if it's their last, and they never falter or give up no matter how daunting the odds against them. Sure, they endeavor to best the other team, but more importantly, they endeavor to best themselves -- to continually refine and improve upon their already formidable game.

As for thinking them humorless, well, a single night at the Funhouse fixed that. No Rat City team plays as hard and parties as tirelessly as the Throttle Rockets. Their team nights at the Funhouse are pretty much legendary -- a planetary-scale collision of punk rock, Jell-O shots and mud-flinging mayhem. The skaters of the Throttle Rockets -- and their mascots, Aurora Whorialis and the indefatigable (and recently mustachioed) Rocketman Houlihan -- are contagiously fun, and they've never once taken out a skater (or fan) that they didn't immediately pick up, brush off and buy a round of beers.

Though the Rockets lost to the Sockit Wenches in the season opener, the score was close (it remained a virtual tie game until the closing minutes), and it was a real pleasure to see the Rockets jetting through the pack and hip-checking the opposition into hyperspace. Even more pleasurable was seeing the big, genuine grins the Rockets wore as they played, and played well. It's a new season for the Throttle Rockets, and a brave new world. And the force is with them.

Here's what the Throttle Rockets themselves had to say about the coming season, and their plans for intergalactic domination:

What makes the Throttle Rockets a fan favorite? Is it your killer instincts on the track, the killer parties you throw at the Funhouse or both?


Crash Gordon: I think it's a combination of our fierce defense on the track, and our Jell-O shots!

Jowanna AssKickin': It's got to be both. I mean, who doesn't like a girl who will kick your ass on the track, then party all night with you?

Dirty Little Secret: Our parties have brought us closer as a team and with the fans. The Funhouse gives us the opportunity to put names with faces in a crowd.

Astro Glide: We are a delight to observe in both of our natural habitats -- though sometimes I think it's more dangerous to be a fan at our team nights.

Dirty Little Secret: The team that plays together slays together.

Every space program has its secret weapons. Who would you say are the fastest, toughest, most deadly skaters in the Rockets' arsenal -- your own laser-guided missiles?

Jowanna AssKickin': I'd say our MVW (Most Valuable Weapon) is having Darth Skater back in action. What can that girl not do?

Dirty Little Secret: Valtron 3000's sole function as a sophisticated android is to skate and destroy. She feels no pain or remorse for the carnage left in her wake.

Crash Gordon: There are no individual skaters on the Throttle Rockets -- we are one unit.

If given the chance to skate against any other group, real or fictional -- like, say, the Klingon Empire, or the House of Representatives -- whom would you choose to skate against, and how would you beat them?

Dirty Little Secret: The Warriors -- they have proven themselves to be weak for hot women. And Charlie's Angels -- we can definitely take down three on the track.

Crash Gordon: It would definitely be against all the underground hip-hop MCs of the world. We would beat them in a freestyle skating competition, rapping and lapping our way to victory.

Astro Glide: I wouldn't want to skate against them, but I would love for Zoe from "Firefly" to come kick ass with us. And River, if she doesn't flip out and hurt one of us accidentally. I think this just makes me a not-so-closeted "Firefly" geek, though.

Jowanna AssKickin': I'd get all the people who like to talk s--- but don't skate, and show them how rough it really is out there.

Let's play nice for a second and say something complimentary about the Derby Liberation Front, the Sockit Wenches and Grave Danger.

Crash Gordon: DLF are the long-legged lions.

Dirty Little Secret: It's cute when DLF acts tough, because we know they are a bunch of cute little kittens. Meow.

Jowanna AssKickin': The Sockit Wenches are a lot of fun to play with, and Grave Danger's fans are really nice; they like to come to our parties.

Crash Gordon: The Wenches have always rooted for me. And Grave Danger packs a mean hit into a very small package.

The other three teams have all won the league championships, and your many fans undoubtedly feel that this is the Rockets' year. Could you give the fans an idea of how you plan to smite the competition and take the 2008 league title?

Dirty Little Secret: It's called Chaos Skate Theory. It's what the Throttle Rockets have been studying the last 4 years. Let us show you what we have learned.

Astro Glide: Give up our secret plans!? Never! The fans are just going to have to come watch the fierce machine that is the Throttle Rockets to learn our secrets.

Jowanna AssKickin': The Throttle Rocket machine is lubed and ready to rock it!

Crash Gordon: Wear protective gear to the championship bout, because the machine is going to EXPLODE!

Copyright © 2008 The Seattle Times Company