Seattle's roller derby league speeds into its third season

Look, you guys need to get into flat-track roller derby this year. That's all there is to it. I've spent too many hours fuming silently by the water cooler, listening to you complain about baseball teams that can't field, football teams that don't repeat and basketball teams who won't pay their own way. Meanwhile, I've been following a sport that routinely delivers fast, tough, heart-stopping gameplay. I follow a sport whose Seattle league is staffed by unpaid volunteers who sink every last dime back into the spectator experience. Most importantly, I follow a sport that has delivered what many have previously considered improbable: a winning Seattle team.

The Rat City Rollergirls, Seattle's flat-track roller derby league, begins its third season this Saturday at the Everett Events Center. In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that my girlfriend is part of the league. (She skated with the Grave Danger squad until she was sidelined by an injury; today she coaches new and auditioning players, or as the league calls them, "potential fresh meat.") That said, I've surprised myself with my devotion to Rat City: I have not yet missed a local bout. Even my girlfriend, who more or less has to attend every bout, has missed one due to illness. I couldn't tear myself away from the derby if my life depended on it, and believe me -- once you've seen these girls skate, you'll feel the same way.

Fortunately, you'll have more opportunities to see the Rat City Rollergirls this season than ever before, and they'll be in terrific fighting form. This year, the rollergirls are moving into larger venues – Qwest Field Event Center and KeyArena among them. The four Rat City teams – the Derby Liberation Front, Grave Danger, the Sockit Wenches and the Throttle Rockets – have honed their play to a science over the past two seasons, and the intense rivalry between the teams makes every bout a nail-biter. And this year you'll get your chance to see the rollergirls taking the fight to visiting teams from Denver, Austin, San Francisco and more.

But that's in the season to come. This weekend, each of the league's four teams are eager to settle old scores. Last year's champs, the Wenches, will face Grave Danger, who beat the Wenches in last year's debut bout. Season 1 champs the Derby Liberation Front face the Rockets, who have had enough of standing in the DLF's long shadow. Words cannot describe the evening of carnage that lies immediately ahead.

I have five pieces of advice to give you before you go:

1. Don't ask "Is this real?" It is. Bones get broken, bodies get bruised. Have a look at Rat City's injuries page if you have doubts.

2. Do learn the rules. You'll be told the rules of roller derby before the bout, but you'll forget them. (It took me several bouts to figure them out.) Just remember this: The jammer tries to lap the pack of rollergirls and scores points for every girl she passes. The pivots try to keep the pack nice and slow so their jammer can catch up. And the blockers knock down the pivots, the opposing team's jammer and the opposing team's blockers, depending on what's needed for their own jammer to get through the pack. Got it? Don't worry if you're still confused – it will make sense eventually.

3. Don't complain about the lack of banked turns. It's actually much harder to maintain momentum on a flat track.

4. Do bring the kids. The league prides itself on a PG-rated atmosphere. However, the kids can't sit directly next to the rink, because girls routinely sail into the crowd. It's true.

5. Don't think too hard about what it all means. As I mentioned before, every one of the rollergirls is a volunteer, and they're out there skating just for fans like you and me, and for our mutual love of the game. You owe it to yourself to witness roller derby firsthand, so we'll have something to talk about on Monday morning.

Shortly after this article was posted, the Rat City Rollergirls achieved another victory, a major one: Your Seattle rollergirls handily defeated top teams from Arizona and Texas to win the 2007 Dust Devil Tournament. That makes the Rat City Rollergirls the top derby league in the Western United States, and quite possibly the top league in the country (another round of championship inter-league bouting this October will prove their ultimate supremacy). Get down to Everett and support this pack of high-rolling champions.