I wish I could show you firsthand the glory that is Big Wheel Bingo [1]. I wish I could sit you down with Bing Wheeler and his lovely wife, Penelope Wheeler, so that you may know game-show hosts of quality. I wish I could play for you audio of past bingo nights at the Sunset [1], so that you can hear Bing's clever calling of the numbers ("N-41, that's Lizzie Borden [2]." "B-8 — and that's bait") and the irreverent music and vocal samples that accompany every spin of the wheel.
Furthermore, I wish I could impart to you the thrill of winning such excellent prizes as giant unicorn banners, or Bo Derek's autobiography. I wish I could demonstrate to you the electricity you'll feel upon seeing "Big Wheel Bingo's" celebrity guests — personages of local and intergalactic import, ranging from El Vez [3] to Miss Indigo Blue [4] to Darth Vader [5]. And I really wish I could share the feeling of camaraderie that comes from joining a roomful of mildly inebriated Seattleites, all striving for a common goal. There can be only one winner of the Bo Derek book, damn it.
Fortunately, I don't have to try to express those inexpressible sensations, because "Big Wheel Bingo" is returning for two big nights this week. Thursday's show at the Sunset [5] will benefit Ballard Food Bank, and the Friday show at the Rendezvous [5] will give a winning chance to everyone who leaves the Thursday event empty-handed. If you don't come down to one of these events, you may never really understand the central tenet of "Big Wheel Bingo," which in actuality isn't a half-bad axiom by which to live your life: "You don't have to be smart to play. Just lucky."
Copyright © 2008 The Seattle Times Company
