If I had a hammer, I'd probably put it down before I accidentally smashed my thumb, as is my custom with such instruments. Handiwork just isn't my thing. However, the instruments offered at King's Hardware [0] - a new Ballard bar from the mind of Linda Derschang, of Linda's Tavern and Viceroy fame - are not only familiar to me, but I am fairly expert in their use: the martini glass, the jukebox and the Skee-Ball. I can't use these things to repair a lamp or frame a doorway – but they can fix a bad day, no problem.
Located inside the space once occupied by Ballard Hardware (the faded letters of the former occupant's sign are still visible) and between longtime Ballard Avenue magnets Hattie's Hat and the Tractor, King's Hardware is the rarest kind of new bar: From its hardwood fixtures to its wall festooned with tacked-up vintage photos, the place feels as old as the hills. If I were visiting this part of Ballard for the first time, I could easily take King's Hardware for Old Ballard – simply a no-nonsense bar with a pool table, a Skee-Ball machine (why not?), a giant outdoor seating area and a killer menu of burgers 'n' brews. Plus, it has an adjoining door with a new branch of Rudy's Barbershop - so not only can you get a snappy new haircut nearby, but you don't have to walk far for a celebratory, post-shearing cocktail.
Looking for a starting point from which to instigate your own repairs? Try the house's signature burger, a juicy meeting of King's smoky beef patty ("Can't Beat Our Meat," the front window proudly proclaims), peppered bacon, grilled onions and mushrooms, and cheddar cheese. Pair it with something from the bar's dozen-plus taps - I'd recommend Shiner Bock, or Pacific Rim Brewery's Rat City IPA - and you've got a combination that could put any house in order, no matter how decrepit it may be. Naturally, you'll want to load up the jukebox with selections; it features local favorites such as Jesse Sykes in addition to offbeat choices like Whiskeytown, Nina Simone and X. And that pool table and Skee-Ball machine aren't just for show.
Though it's been open a short time - it threw open its doors to a standing-room crowd on the first day of Labor Day weekend - it's easy to predict King's Hardware becoming an indelible part of Ballard's nightlife. I can easily imagine the joint actually bringing business to its neighbors, rather than taking it away: There's more than enough hungry people going to shows at the Tractor, and the act of hopping from Hattie's bar to King's may soon become a treasured local pastime. Hey, it beats working.
Copyright © 2008 The Seattle Times Company
