I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is that Seattle's new Major League Soccer franchise [1], set to make its debut next year, has moved one step closer to reality: The franchise is in the process of choosing its name. All Seattleites are invited to vote [2] for one of several options at the team's Web site, with the winner presumably being chosen sometime after the end of voting (March 31).
The bad news is that three of the four suggested names are godawful. Seattle FC is okay, but as NWsource's resident expert Jon Palmer immediately pointed out, the FC (Football Club) title is already being used by Dallas' team. Palmer also commented that the other suggested names -- Seattle Alliance and Seattle Republic -- sound like they were inspired by "Star Wars." And not the good parts of "Star Wars," either. Just imagine the opposing team soiling its shorts when the Seattle Death Stars take to the pitch.
The fourth choice is a write-in ("For those who are passionate about another name"). Forget about writing in "Sounders"; the new team doesn't want to use it. The franchise is concerned that the name may be too strongly identified with second-division soccer. This is big-time, Beckham-licious ball, and the team wants a fresh start. They couldn't get fresher than these options, which I invite you to rally behind:
The Seattle SuperSounder
The Seattle Freeze
The Seattle Micros
The Seattle Softies
The Seattle Soggies
The Seattle Gentrificators
The Neglected Seattle Viaduct (Oops -- this is actually the name for the interesting rock formation that will soon sit next to Qwest Field, where the MLS team will play)
Seattle WTF
Seattle RTFM
Seattle ROTFLMAO
The Experience Soccer Project (in deference to team part-owner Paul Allen)
The I-Can-Totally-Play-This-Game-From-New-Yorks [3]
The South Lake Union Team [4] (again, in deference to Allen)
The How-Long-Before-They-Ask-For-A-New-Stadiums
That's all I got. Vote [5] until your fingers go numb. You don't want them to pick something stupid.
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