Here is how Wikipedia [1] describes The Church of the SubGenius [2]:
The Church of the SubGenius is a religious group that satirizes religion, conspiracy theory, UFOs and popular culture originally based in Dallas, Texas, which gained prominence in the 1980s and 1990s subculture, with a large presence on the Internet.
Ha ha ha. Well played. That is, in fact, exactly what the SubGenii would like the Pinks (that's you and me) to believe. The truth is that Wikipedia is part of the vast Pink conspiracy to take away our slack [3], and to prevent us from becoming our own short-duration personal saviors. Some would even have us believe that J.R. "Bob" Dobbs [4] -- the man, the myth, the hot animal machine who once so famously said, "You'll PAY to know what you REALLY think" -- is nothing but a piece of clip art, a cheesy picture of a 1950s guy smoking a pipe.
Okay, here's the truth: I have no idea what I'm saying. I've read the Book of the SubGenius [5] cover to cover and I've still no idea what it's all about. The Church of the SubGenius is either a savage parody of organized religion or our only brace against a life of quiet Pink despair. But I like to believe that above all things, it's a first-class excuse to throw one hell of a party ... just as the SubGenii will do this Saturday at the Transcendent Church of Bass [5].
The 10th Annual Final Subgenius Devival [6] is a proper "gut blowout" that promises rants by Dr. Hal Robins, Popess Lilith Von Fraumench, Princess Pisces, St. Kali de Rouge, Rev. Andre Brother and Assassinated Nensmaster Nenslo, the King of All Anarchists; music by Hemorrhoy Rogers, Rev. Scalpod and DJs Sloth and Jessbone; live "healings" and "sickenings"; and an air of general, uninhibited lunacy, which is really all you need to feel the presence of "Bob." (Well, that and a full bar, whose proceeds benefit SOAP [7].)
Still confused? That's OK. All you really need to know is that this will be a fun night, and the only thing you're required to do is "come dressed insane (and) leave with 'Bob' on the brain!" Also, you need to bring a "mandatory love offering" of ten bucks [8], for as "Bob" once said, "[You] may be Pink, but [your] money's still green."
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