PEZMP3.COM

We really ought not to lose our minds over the new, video-equipped iPod (though I am pleased that Apple is finally offering the regular iPod in a shade other than antiseptic white or U2-tone). The fact is, it's an obsolete device, as has been every iPod that's come before, because we all know damn well that Steve Jobs will put out something better next year — and at a lower price point.

So, instead of shelling out for the latest iPod — which is reportedly subject to the same battery and copy-protection problems inherent to previous iPods, I suggest you wait a while for Apple to put out an upgrade and spend this year's mad money on an MP3 shuffle player converted from a PEZ dispenser, because wouldn't you know? The latter item just became available.

Handmade by "stay-at-home-dad" Pat Misterovich, this PEZ-licensed product is your basic 512MB-capacity MP3 player, compatible with Mac and Windows. It has two playback settings (random and repeat), a USB 2.0 port for easy dragging and dropping, and can also be used to port non-music files from one machine to another. However, the most attractive feature about this MP3 player is one no other MP3 player can claim: It's a collectible. Even if Misterovich puts out an upgrade next year, it won't look like this limited-run first edition. And at just $99, you can scarcely afford to pass up this handmade gem.

The "PEZ Pal Boy" design, according to Misterovich, is "the first PEZ dispenser I remember owning as a kid." He's got a friendly face and a rockin' pompadour — a perfect host for your garage, surf, punk and even cheesy disco MP3s. Like the iPod, his charm is universal, and you'll almost feel bad when you lift his smiling mug off his neck to turn him on and off. Who cares if he can't show you the latest episode of "Desperate Housewives"? PEZ Pal Boy will be your friend long after those slatterns have fallen off the cultural radar.

One problem, though: Misterovich has limited his first run to 5,000 players, and when they're gone, they're gone. If you like music and you have fond memories of the chalky taste of PEZ, you'll want to move fast. Trust me, Steve Jobs can wait on your money.