Like many of my friends, I experienced severe closet envy throughout Sarah Jessica Parker's run as Carrie Bradshaw on "Sex and the City." Naturally, I had high expectations for Bitten, the clothing line Parker designed for the Steve & Barry's chain, which last month opened in Everett, their fourth outpost in Washington (the others are in Auburn, Olympia and Spokane).

But after a recent (and disappointing) visit to Steve & Barry's to check out the new line, my grandmother's words haunted me: "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." With that in mind, here goes:

Bitten is perfect if you are under 20 years old and unwilling to spend more than $20 on a single item. You will be especially pleased if you are less than 5 feet, 2 inches tall and lack certain physical traits common to the average woman (i.e., breasts and hips).

If you don't fit any of the above criteria, I strongly recommend a plane ride to San Francisco and a visit to one of the five (five!) H&M stores there. The Swedish chain is the IKEA of fashion, and you'll find shelf after overflowing shelf of quality, of-the-moment looks on the cheap.

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